Facing Death in a Pandemic

The pandemic has made all of us rethink our lives, how short life is, and how precious is our remaining time. I have been thinking about this topic - but from the flipside. The inevitable exit, the end of life, is a subject we all avoid as if it is a forbidden topic.  No doubt, death is a dreary topic, but talk we must, as there is no escaping it.  After all, it is our journey’s end, final destination on earth.

Death is the only certain thing in life. ("Every mortal will taste death, but only some will taste life” - Rumi) But it is also the greatest unknown. We don’t know the time, place, and cause of our death.

As I grow older, I see myself attending more and more funerals and hearing more and more about parents of friends and relatives passing through the natural aging process. As we all know, so many have passed away during the pandemic.

Recently, there have been five deaths among my family and friends. These five people could not be more different in terms of age, profession, family situation, and time/place/cause of death. As I attended the funerals and burials of two of them, and watched the others online, I began wondering about their buried bodies and started to realize that all their skills, experiences, and memories were buried as well. What would/should happen to their Facebook or/and LinkedIn profile? Did they write something about their lives and personal experiences that might be useful for later generations? 

If you don’t believe in the hereafter, then that’s it: full stop, the story is over.  But if you do, it raises several questions/concerns. What comes after this life?

I believe that we will be judged for our deeds/actions during our time on earth. Depending on the weighing of these deeds, we will be rewarded or punished. Without believing this, I cannot fathom the way the world works: injustice, exploitation, oppression, greed, misery, calamities, extreme poverty, opulence, inborn disabilities etc.

Recently, I talked to a friend who does not believe in God because of all the misery he sees in the world.  My argument for him was that for me, this is precisely the reason to believe in God. If this world is the end of it all, then there is no hope for the oppressed. There has to be a reckoning!

In the modern world, reminding oneself of our eventual end is considered fatalistic. Not good for human progress on earth. But a saying of prophet Mohammed (PBUH) helps put things in perspective: Even if the end of time is upon you and you have a seedling in your hand, plant it!.  Actually reflecting on our final demise makes us more cognizant of the value of our time on earth.

Thinking about death and believing in the hereafter keeps me balanced, makes me optimistic, and helps me focus on the things that matter the most. Highs are really not that high and lows are really not that low. It helps me strive to do good and avoid/shun evil. In general, just trying to be a good human being, even with all the fits and starts in my case:-)

Steve Jobs had famously said that he did not want to be the richest man in the cemetery. In the same vein, I have often meditated on lying in a casket and becoming alive for a moment. What would my regrets be?

I have a list of Q&A for my deathbed. I will share these questions here, and you can fill in your answers.

• What would you consider as your greatest accomplishment?

• What are your greatest memories?

• What are your greatest regrets?

• Would you like to seek forgiveness from anybody for anything?

• What would be the wisdom you chose to share from your life?

• What would you consider as your legacy?

• What would you do if you had more time on this planet?

Wouldn’t it be neat to reflect on and answer these questions! Would these answers help us lead better, more contented lives?

Reflections on my ride along with DPD, 15 September 2021, 3 -7 PM

A few days ago, a good friend of mine arranged for a “ride along” in a police patrol car because of my interest in understanding law enforcement, the prison system, and the mental health crisis in the Detroit community.

I was assigned a half day shift with two police officers from a precinct in Detroit (DPD (Detroit Police Department) has 12 precincts): Officer A, a white man and Officer B, a woman of color.  Both officers asked me to call them by their first name and were extremely courteous.  The shift was from 3 PM to 7 PM and I was scheduled for the first half.  I was given a bulletproof vest to wear for the duration of my shift.  We started with a visit to the gas station.  I offered to buy them drinks and snacks as a thank you, but they politely refused and paid for everything on their own. 

I asked the officers if they were CIT-trained (Crisis Intervention Training) to which they said no. As we took off from the gas station, it seemed as if not much was going on.  So I asked them if it is going to be an easy day and they both laughed and told me to just wait a couple minutes.  

Officer B, who was in the passenger seat, had a laptop that showed her all the 911 calls coming in from all the precincts and had to scroll down to see the calls for the specific precinct (I asked her why the screen can’t just default to her precinct calls, she said that would be very nice but there is no option to select a precinct). Each call was given a priority on the screen. Only in the case of Priority 1 did they turn on their lights and sirens and take off down the road. 

Our first call was from a woman who was saying that someone was trying to break into her house.  By the time we reached, the matter was resolved.  That somebody was the owner of the house who had eviction orders and was knocking on the door. The lady agreed to move out.

Our second call was related to  DV (Domestic Violence). A man had threatened to slash his wife’s tires, but by the time we reached, the situation was under control and the wife told us everything had been resolved.  

Our third call was about a medical emergency where an older woman had pressed the panic button by mistake. When we reached, she admitted to the mistake, which Officer A had predicted as we were driving there. 

Our fourth call was a Priority 1 call. Officer A turned the light and siren on and we started flying, really flying.  For the first time in my life I experienced how dangerous this can be.  I was in the back seat and did not have my seat belt on and had a really hard time trying to put it on as we raced. I had to hold on for dear life until we reached our destination. 

When we reached, there were already 3-4 police cars there and more arrived soon along with a helicopter hovering above.  I was told that there was an 18 yr old boy who was walking in the middle of the street and was told by cops to move to the side. He resisted and another 17 yr old came to his defense and hit the officer with a backpack (the kids were returning from school at that time of the day).  Both the kids were arrested and were in the back of a police car.  One older man shouted at the police officers telling them they were profiling, and the cops were yelling back at him and saying that he had no idea what happened and that he was wrong.  I saw another cop talking to a Black kid who was protesting arrest.  The situation was pretty much under control but I was surprised to see 10-12 officers at the spot and a helicopter above.  Officers were asked to go inform the mother of the minor, so we went to her house.  Once the mom was informed of the situation, she drove back immediately behind us.

I asked both the officers why so much force had been used and they said they needed to keep the situation under control so that things don’t get out of hand. I asked what kind of charges these kids are going to face and was told that they will be most likely charged with a felony.  When I heard that my heart sank, knowing that if this charge sticks and the kids are convicted, their lives will never be the same.  A felony strips away so many rights in this country.  The officers and I kept talking about this, and their point was that this was an assault on an officer and there is a price to pay for that.  They said there are neighborhoods where they have to keep their antenna up because kids there behave very differently than in other neighborhoods.  Officer A also told me that in his five years of service he has been shot at twice, and one of the bullets was just a few inches from him.

This was very distressing for me. I asked them if there are any programs by the DPD where they go and talk to kids, so there is more trust between them and youth.  I was told that there is a special Neighborhood Policing unit which takes care of that. The officers I was with were “Patrol Officers” and it is not part of their job. We agreed to disagree on the point that these kids/youth are going through lots of things including having lots of hormones and observing what’s always happening between Black people and police.  The officers point of view was that they have a job to do and it is the responsibility of parents to teach their kids how to behave with officers.  I asked them many questions and they replied politely and at length. They did not sugarcoat anything. They told me exactly the way they felt.  I saw no difference between how they felt either. They were pretty much in sync.

The first two hours flew by fast. We came back to the precinct HQ to take a bathroom break and after 15-20 minutes, we were back into action.

Our fifth call was from KFC.  First I thought we might be going to KFC to pick up some food, but turns out it was a real call.  The manager of the KFC (it was open for drive thru only) told us that somebody threw a glass of soda at her face from the car.  She thought they captured the license plate of the lady but that was not the case.  Officers told her that unless she gives them some identifying information, they cannot do much except write an incident report.  The manager also showed other videos where somebody threatened her with a knife and another time when she was verbally abused.  Officers told her that this KFC location should consider signing up for the “Green Light” program, which businesses can become part of by paying $10,000 per year to receive priority treatment on calls etc.

Our sixth call was a false alarm where somebody called about a suspicious car.

Our seventh and final call was about a baby girl who was not being returned to her lawful father.  When we reached the scene, a car was waiting for us. Inside was a man and a woman.  The woman could speak English and told us that they are here to pick up the man’s daughter (4 yrs old) from the nearby house but they are not answering the door.  The officers knocked on the door and finally after a few minutes, an old lady responded.  She told the officers that she had notified another man, and he would be bringing the baby shortly. This man was the ex-husband of the now-deceased wife of the man in the car.  The wife had just passed away a month back or so.  The man in the car spoke only Spanish so officers called for a Spanish speaking officer. 

The ex-husband arrived with the baby, and she was clearly very attached to him. He said this man (in the car) though a real father, has never taken care of this baby and is a drunk. He said that he (the man in the car) asked to meet over the weekend and never showed up and he is unfit to take care of this baby.

The baby started crying when she was told that she might have to go with her biological father. It was very emotional for all.  Officers checked on birth certificates and names and licenses of everybody involved and came to the conclusion that the baby needs to go with the biological father (the man in the car).  But to confirm, they called CPS (Child Protective Services) and described the whole situation and CPS agreed.

Now the question was how they would transport the baby as they did not have a car seat.  The man who brought the baby had the car seat but would not lend it to this man and woman in the car, questioning how they can come to pick up a baby without the car seat, again stating that the man (biological father) is unfit to take care of the baby.  Officers called CPS again and asked them if the baby can be transported without the child seat and they gave a go ahead.  This whole thing took more than an hour to resolve, involved 4 officers, and a call to CPS.  Everybody could tell that the biological father was not fit to take care of the baby but they had no choice.  The baby cried a great deal when she was handed over and that made all of us quite emotional.  I wonder if the cops are really needed in this situation. It felt to me that this should have been handled by some other non-police organization.

It was 7 PM and I was driven back to the HQ as my time had come to an end.  I was exhausted and could not imagine riding along for another four hours.  But these officers were going back to do just that. 

Before I left, I took a photograph with the police officers.  I also met the officers who were the first on the scene where the two kids were arrested.  They asked me how it was and I told them I am still thinking about those two kids and what a felony charge could do to their lives. They asked me “do you want to see the video of what happened?”  I am not sure why, but I said no, maybe out of fear that it would cause me distress. I wish I had watched it, it would have answered so many questions for me. I could tell those officers were absolutely sure that they did the right thing.

I did tell them this “ride along” was a very educational experience for me. I told them that unfortunately you guys are not just cops but mediators, counselors, negotiators, all in one. Your job is a very tough and demanding one. They nodded in agreement.

Driving back, though exhausted, my mind was swirling with all kinds of thoughts, particularly about those two kids. I was thinking about whether it was their first time in jail, and how they are doing in there. What are their parents going through now? How would this incident affect the life of their family going forward?  Are these two kids bound to become another statistic, as 1 in 3 Black men face incarceration in their lifetimes? Is jail really the best place to send these kids?

 

My thoughts/questions on my experience:

1. Shouldn’t it be the job of every officer to interact with the community?  Learn about the community by talking to them in normal circumstances, not only when it is a high wire situation.  Particularly talking to Black men who are so apprehensive about the police in general, and white officers in particular.  Both police and these men need to tell each other their stories and apprehensions. 

2. Why are cops being called to handle so many civil situations when their primary job is to deal with criminal situations?

3. Shouldn’t all cops be required to formally learn about the community they serve and protect? What forums and mechanisms should be in place for broader interaction?  Should the cops who serve a community come from that community?

4. Why is “show of force” the way to deescalate a situation, why can’t we have a “show of love” to calm down a situation?  I wonder what a pastor or an Imam or a neighborhood elder would do when they see a kid walking in the middle of the street. 

5. Cops in DPD are really overworked. Instead of the term “defunding” we should talk about “updating the funding,” so that cops have enough resources but so do social workers, mental health professionals, etc. who should be working in tandem with the police.  When will politicians come together to really do something about updating the way we police?

6. Is militarizing our police a good thing?  When did we start treating our citizens as enemy combatants?

7. The U.S.  spent $300 million dollar per day for the last 20 years for the war in Afghanistan. What if we had spent half that amount on our downtrodden communities? Would it halt the school to prison pipeline, which I witnessed an example of during my very short 4 hour stint?

8. Is it better to send young men to some sort of rehabilitation rather than sending them to jail?  To house somebody in jail, it costs ~$160 per night. And what good does it really do for an 18 yr old boy? How does it help us grow as a society when our solution to those who act out or make mistakes is to lock them up like animals? 

I would love to hear about what you think about my thoughts and questions I have raised.

Remembering Malcolm X on his 56th Assassination Anniversary

“I’ve had enough of someone else’s propaganda. I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I’m a human being first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” - Malcolm X

I just finished listening to the autobiography of Malcolm X (declared as one of the ten most groundbreaking books of the 20th century by TIME magazine) on Audible and could not resist writing about it. I have been fascinated by Malcolm X for a long time, particularly after watching his famous 1992 biopic by Spike Lee, starring Denzel Washington.  There’s also a  compelling docuseries on Netflix titled Who Killed Malcolm X, which details his life after his conversion to Orthodox Islam and then his untimely death, an awesome effort by intrepid citizen-sleuth Abdur-Rahman Muhammad. And don’t forget one of the best movies to come out in pandemic, “One Night in Miami”, on Amazon Prime, where Kingsley Ben-Adir stars as Malcolm X.

It would be an understatement to say that there has never been a Muslim leader of Malcolm’s caliber in the United States. He ultimately sacrificed his life for the cause of justice for all and in particular for African Americans. What a life! He was only 39 years old when he was assassinated on February 21, 1965 (56 years ago). Malcolm was raised by a single mother after his father was brutally murdered by white supremacists when he was a child, and he later had to witness her institutionalization.  His life changed from that of a bright student with promise to one of misery and mischief, which eventually led him to prison. But when, at the age of 26, he found the cause he could believe in and get behind, he cleaned up his life and joined the organization called the Nation of Islam.  He rose through the ranks and became the face of the organization because of his sheer work ethic, drive, intelligence and eloquence.

His speeches are well-known and could not be more powerful coming from a member of an oppressed minority.  Whether the majority of the Americans liked it or not, Malcolm X did not shy away from telling the truth. He delivered the bitter truth of the white supremacist mindset held by so many Americans at the time (and even now), a mindset that had even seeped into the Black community (as a type of self-hatred is imposed on all colonized peoples). He was reviled & demonized and was considered militant for speaking the truth to power.

After 12 years with the Nation of Islam, he discovered how deviant the organization and its leadership were from true Islamic teachings, so he left.  He chose his conscience, chose Islam as his religion and travelled to Mecca to perform Hajj, most likely one of the first African Americans to perform the pilgrimage.  While there's proof that Malcolm first encountered the story of the Prophet (PBUH) more than a decade earlier and may have been re-evaluating the beliefs and practices of the Nation as early as his first trip to Mecca in 1959.  If you look at the timeline of his life, he was really a practicing Sunni Muslim in the public sphere for less than a year before he was assassinated.  His outlook on life, humanity and the world changed after he accepted Islam. But his determination to fight for his fellow African Americans never changed.

In his letter from Mecca to his wife and close friends, he wrote, “(But) in the Muslim World, when one accepts Islam and ceases to be white or Negro, Islam recognizes all men as Men because the people here in Arabia believe that God is One, they believe that all people are also One, and that all our brothers and sisters is One Human Family.”

In his last few months on earth, Malcolm preached and worked on the basic precept of Islamic philosophy of the oneness of humanity. I wish that Malcolm had lived for a few more years after his pilgrimage. Just imagine, how his powerful eloquence with the new spiritual understanding would have introduced Islam to many Americans, particularly the youth. Allah’s Will was different. Our image of Malcolm X will always be that of a young, brilliant, strong man who was unapologetic about his identity. Malcolm represented such hope for Black America that revered actor Ossie Davis called him, in his eulogy, "our Black shining prince."  Muslims in the U.S., from all ethnic backgrounds, would be wise to see him as our shining prince as well.  So, while Malcolm X is no longer with us, I wonder what it means to learn from and honor his legacy today.

As I think about Malcolm’s life and look at the current situation, I wonder about

• In mainstream U.S. society, and especially in immigrant Muslim communities, why don’t we teach our kids about his life and mission?
• What would Malcolm X think about racism within the Muslim community?
• When will we finally take on the mantle of true Islamic teaching, so that as Malcolm predicted that “the younger generation of Americans will turn to Islam for spiritual salvation”?
• When will we start honoring his legacy by honoring the first Muslims (African American Muslims) of this country and be a part of the larger racial and social justice struggle in America?

The least we can do is to learn about his life and celebrate his legacy by joining his lifetime work of social and racial justice in America, and for that matter, human rights all over the world. 

 

  

References

 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/92057.The_Autobiography_of_Malcolm_X

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/ccbh/mxp/mecca.html
https://www.harlemheritage.com/uncategorized/malcolm-x-multimedia-harlem-tour/

https://www.history.com/topics/black-history/malcolm-x

 

Manifesting Hope in 2021: Reflections from an Indian American Muslim

 January 3rd 2021

This blog is inspired by Imam Aly Lela’s khutba on Friday, January 1st,  2021.  

Last year was one of the most difficult years for Muslims in India.  After the re-election of Narendar Modi in 2019, things have gone from bad to worse.  The list of grievances is long: the revocation of article 370 for Kashmir (with the jailing of all the civil and political leaders and total curfew and blackout of the Internet for months), the passing of the CAA (Citizenship Amendment Act, which can potentially revoke citizenship of millions of Indian Muslims, putting them at risk of being placed in the detention centers), the Babri masjid verdict by the Supreme Court of India (while agreeing that there was no temple where the mosque was built in sixteenth century and decrying the destruction of the mosque, its verdict was to hand over the property to a Trust created by the government to build a temple, basically favoring the demolishers of the mosque and opening the way for court verdicts based on majority sentiments rather than law of the land and justice), the Delhi riots and police brutality against Muslims (there is nothing new here, this has been going on since partition, but now it is happening as the world watches), blaming Muslims for the Corona virus (Corona Jihad, identifying Muslims as a bad omen for India, as aliens who don’t belong there), the jailing of Muslim and other human rights activists (not to mention immense intimidation and threats), the passing of Love Jihad laws in BJP states to harass Muslims (any Muslim man can be targeted by any non-Muslim woman and can be put in jail for years, a great tool for law enforcement to specifically harass Muslim men), the hijacking of the celebration of Aligarh Muslim University’s 100th year anniversary by Modi to humiliate Muslims and to fool the world, specifically the Muslim world about India’s secular credentials. All of this follows beef lynching and other instruments of harassments that were employed before 2020. 

Just by reading this list, one would become despondent and lose hope in the future of Indian society in general and Muslims in particular.  If not already, Muslims in India are very close to becoming second-class citizens in their own country. Their life, property and dignity are at the mercy of Hindutva hooligans. India’s secular constitution is worthless against the BJP majority in parliament  and Hindutva influenced judiciary at all levels up to and including the Supreme Court. In 2020, personally, I lost few very close friends to Hindutva. Where could anyone find hope in this? 

As a Muslim, I always find hope in Allah SWT.  I find hope in His infinite Mercy and Justice.  I find hope in His full and complete control of all our affairs and their outcomes.  I find hope in the saying of the Prophet SA that ‘mayoosi is kufr’ (hopelessness is disbelief). I find hope in all peace loving Indians of all faiths who are struggling to keep secular.  I also find hope in the resourcefulness of Indian Muslims, who are steadfast in their effort to keep India a pluralistic and just society that treats all its citizens equally.  I find hope that Muslims are more aware of the plight of others in Indian society, mainly of Dalits and other non-upper castes and OBCs, and want to work together with them for their rights.  I find hope that Muslims are part of the groups helping Indian farmers in their right to protest against unjust bills, which will adversely affect their livelihood.  I find hope in Indian Muslim Youth helping everybody in times of natural disasters, whether it is covered by Indian Media (mostly sympathetic to Hindutva, and in the forefront of demonizing Muslim citizens) or not. I see hope in Allama Iqbal’s famous couplet. 

nahi hai na umeed iqbal apni kasht e veeran say
zara nam ho tu ye miti bari zarkhez ha saqi

I find hope in people of all faiths coming together to fight against Hindutva here in the USA.  I find hope in advocacy organizations all over the world, including America,  raising their voice for the plight of minorities in India.  I find hope in Indian American youth of all persuasion and faith denouncing Hindutva and worrying about losing the pluralistic & democratic India and sometimes reminding their Hindutva leaning parents about their cognitive dissonance of demanding & expecting equal rights for themselves as a minority in this country (USA) while cheering for the denial of the same to minorities in India.  I find hope in Western media which has finally taken notice of what’s going on in India under Modi and have published front-page stories on this topic.  I find hope in the fact that the  US Congress is paying attention to the human rights situation in India. I find hope in  US bureaucrats who are better educated about ground realities in the largest democracy in the world.

In Surah Mulk, Allah SWT makes it clear that Authority/Mulk belongs to Him but He expects us to do our part.  Life is a test and we are required to put our best effort against all the odds, and be hopeful without worrying about results. I think that's where I have failed. I have focused on what’s not in my control and versus what’s in my control.  What’s in my control is to use my God given capability of intelligence, time, money, speech, and words  for a  just cause.  I intend to do better in 2021, inshaAllah.

I believe in the dignity of all human beings (Quran 17:70) and hence believe that everyone has the right to dignity and security of their life and property.  I resolve that I will never return hate with hate.  I will return Hindutva hate with education and advocacy.  I will support oppressed people no matter where and what faith they belong to.  I will work with anybody and everybody who will support this just cause. I resolve that I will put whatever meager resources I have for this cause, not forgetting that my time and my prayers are the most important resources. I understand that I have means which others don’t and hence I have a greater responsibility.  The journey ahead is long and arduous and I will follow the guidance in the Holy Quran in my behavior while dealing with friends and foes alike. 

To end, here are my principles of engagement for 2021: 

On oneness of humanity

On perseverance

On responding to evil

On charity

On remaining steadfast

On justice and righteousness

On respecting those of all faiths

On truth 

On humility

On patience

Reflecting on My Mentors, with Gratitude

I wanted to write a blog on gratitude and thought what better time to write about this  than during one of my favorite American holidays, Thanksgiving. 

When I look back at my life, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to God, my parents, my teachers and so many people who helped me along the way. Anybody who tells you he/she is self-made is not telling you the truth, and they sure aren’t being grateful.

My parents provided everything a child could ask for, despite not having much to give, and prepared me to face the rest of my life with gratitude and resolve.  I remember riding with my dad on his bicycle after finishing the day’s work at his crockery shop. He would tell me about his life and lessons he learned over time, and he would always say that the  key to being grateful is to never be envious of what others have and you don’t.  He would say if you want to be happy in life and live a life of gratitude, look at the people who don’t have as much as you have. This lesson has served me well

My mother’s care and prayers were and are a constant source of comfort in my life.  Her motherly advice to have a firm belief in God, and her constant reminders that everything happens for a reason and to never  lose hope in God’s Mercy, has made me who I am.  Whenever I face something big in life, I seek her advice and ask her to pray for my success. 

I was lucky to have some dedicated mentors throughout my life.   I  was introduced to Mr. Abdul Rasheed (lovingly called Matsahab), who tutored me along with other kids after school.  His efforts helped me reach  the top 25 scorers in the 8th grade board exam in the state of Madhya Pradesh, India.  It was beyond his expertise to teach after 8th grade, but he continued to teach me about life. When he would come to tutor my younger brothers, I would spend time  with him, talking and learning about his life and his views.   

After my parents, Matsahab was my biggest influence.  He introduced me to religion, philosophy, politics, poetry, nature and more importantly, he prepared me to face many challenges in this life, always forcing me to look at them as opportunities for growth.  I still remember discussing this couplet (originally in Urdu) with him, which he taught me and asked me to memorize:

“Don’t be frightened by these furious and violent winds, oh eagle! These blow only to make you fly higher.”  

It was through his influence that I decided to apply for a student visa to do my Master’s in the US.

Another person who influenced  my life while I was in India was the late Mr. Nauman Ali Masoom.  He was a lover of the Urdu language.  When I met him, he was working on a book about the themes in the holy book Quran, emphasizing the universality of its message.  In my freshman year of  college, I would regularly visit him and we would discuss various topics in the Quran and also  philosophical questions like our purpose on earth.  He also inspired me to read about other religions.

My interaction with Dr. Hanif D. Sherali, a distinguished professor at Virginia Tech, started before I even arrived in the US for my master's. I stumbled on his profile during my search to apply for a master's at a US university at USEFI (US Education Foundation in India) library in Delhi when I went to take my GRE.  I wrote him telling him about myself and to my surprise, he wrote me back.  Long story short, I applied to Virginia Tech for a master’s in Operations Research. He became my advisor and I did my master’s thesis under him.

Dr. Sherali was one of the top three academics in  his field.  To this day, I believe he is the only genius I have ever met.  He is a man of faith, and one of the most modest people you will ever meet. He could always see fifteen steps ahead of me, and I’d normally get my work back covered in red ink. But while he was a tough instructor, he was also very kind and generous to me.  He successfully lobbied to get me a tuition waiver from the ISE (Industrial & Systems Engineering) department after my first semester and then gave me an RA (Research Assistantship) to work for one his clients, a coal mining company to help them come up with an optimal mix of coal from different mines to meet the 1990 Clean Air Act, which also became  the topic of my thesis.

In 1992, when there were almost no jobs available, particularly for somebody like me, fresh out of college and with a student visa, it was really difficult  to find a job. Having Dr. Sherali’s name in my resume was a big plus for me. I had two offers after graduating: one from American Airlines and another from the Association of American Railroads (AAR).  He advised me to join a smaller organization like AAR, where I could  make a bigger impact.  His advice was to never  join for a paycheck or a  big name, but to join for impact and contribution and become indispensable to that organization.

I have been taught and have tried to practice being thankful to God for all He has bestowed upon me.  Being thankful to God is one of the most essential qualities of a believer. In the Quran, God asks rhetorically again and again about the arrogance of humanity. We are reminded that He has brought us into being and expects us to be grateful. 

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) once said, “Whoever does not thank people has not thanked God.” This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for the mentors that have shaped me into who I am today. It is hard to imagine my journey so far without the influence of these mentors in my life.  

I hope this Thanksgiving you make sure to not miss the most important ingredient in your Thanksgiving dinner, gratitude!

(grateful to my daughter, Samina for editing this blog)

Racism among Immigrants from Indian sub-continent

In my previous blog about the racial incident in Rochester Hills, I had forgotten to mention a quick conversation I had with an attendee at the meeting that was held to discuss the incident. The lady sitting at my table asked me how old my kids are and when she came to know that I have a 14 year old son, the same age as Brannan who was shot at for asking directions, she said, “wow, this could have happened to your son.” I respectfully disagreed. I said that I don’t think he would have been shot at. In my son’s case, he would be considered a good kid—good in studies, good for the school environment, and anything but a “trouble maker.” My son is not black, he is brown and that makes a huge difference.

And that’s exactly the reason that many brown folks I know, have no concern about racism in this country. Most of us brown folks fail to realize that most of our rights as citizens are because of the struggle of others, mainly that of African-Americans, who fought for social and racial justice.

When I landed in United States in 1990, for me, America was a country of whites. I knew there were blacks (it was only later that I learned the term African-American) in the United States but from what I understood while watching TV in India, that they were pretty insignificant.

When I landed to accomplish my master’s at Virginia Tech, I did not know the history of this country. For me it was my future, not the American past that mattered. This was/is the land of opportunity. A friend at Virginia Tech introduced me to race relations and American history when he lent me a cassette of the movie “Mississippi Burning.” I remember watching the movie on a Friday night, normally reserved for partying and a night of relaxation, before getting back to research work for graduate studies over the weekend. That started me on an on-going journey to learn more about the history of slavery in this country and its present effects.

Once I came to realize that this was not just Hollywood fiction, but a major part of American history. I was horrified. Since then, I have been very curious about the history of slavery in this country. And I have a lot to learn still.

The general focus for Indian sub-continent immigrants (by that I mean immigrants from India, Pakistan, and surrounding countries) landing in United States is education and securing their future in this country, economically. We work hard and don’t want to be distracted by involving ourselves in any social issues regarding this country. Most of our interactions are with other immigrants of our kind and whites, particularly in college campuses. After education, the usual move to a house in a suburb and voilá, the American dream is achieved.

Race relations and discrimination is a rarely discussed topic in social gatherings. I don’t remember ever being in a social gathering where the topic of discussion was the unjust shooting of African-Americans by police or Black Lives Matter etc. And if the topic is ever visited tangentially, it is always dealt with the attitude, “It is not my problem,” or “If we can make it, why can’t they?” Or “If you work hard in this country, whatever your background, you can make it.”

My brown friends fail to realize that just being brown and not black is a privilege in this country. They don’t have the historical context where blacks were treated as 3/5th human being. Also they don’t realize that American slavery was based on race and race alone. Racism is engrained in the history of the United States. This history is hard to learn and does not come easily but its effects are evident on a daily basis.

The color of one’s skin is very important in Indian sub-continent cultures. Growing up in India, I remember watching ads on TV about creams that will make you “fair and lovely.” From what I understand, Bollywood actors are still used in ads to sell those creams. Unfortunately, the culture there associates fair color with goodness and beauty.

I wish more of my fellow immigrants could understand that the reason they can live and thrive and are afforded the rights they have in the United States is because of the Civil Rights Movement. Bottom line, if African-Americans had not struggled and sacrificed to get their civil rights, we would not be in this country.

The good news is that our brown American kids are much more in tune with the history of this country and the current environment. They realize that their parents are hypocritical, while taking advantage of minority certifications for their businesses and all the advantages of American citizenship but never ever contributing anything for social, racial and economic justice in this country. These kids are our hope. And I hope they will participate fully for the equality of all human beings in all aspects in this country, and for that matter, the world.

My recommended list:

Reading

Watching

Frederick Douglas’s – “What to Slave is the 4th of July” The Biography of Malcom X: As told to Alex Haley The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. The Greatest: My Own Story : Mohammed Ali   Ta-Nehisi Coates:  Between the World and Me Ta- Nehesi Coates: The First White President Sylviane A. Diouf:  Servants of Allah: African Muslims Enslaved in the Americas Harriet Beecher Stowe: Uncle Tom’s Cabin Howard Zinn: A People's History Of The United States

13th – Netflix Documentary Detroit – Movie The Help - Movie 12 years a Slave - Movie Roots – History Channel Documentary Selma – Movie Mississippi burning – Movie 10 Must Watch Black History Documentaries

A Racial Incident, addressing it and making it a teachable moment for the community

The first time I heard that an African-American teenager, Brennan Walker, was shot at in my town of Rochester Hills was when I received a CAIR Michigan email. Then I received emails from fellow steering committee members at GRAIN calling for a community gathering at 5:00 PM on Saturday April 14th 2018 at Abiding Presence Church in Rochester Hills.

There was no way I was going to miss this meeting. To my pleasant surprise, there were about 50+ people at the church. People of all color, ethnicity and religion were present to show their support for Brennan and his family and to figure out the next steps to get people talking about racism in great Rochester area and find solutions. I was there to learn and to listen and, hopefully, contribute in some positive way.

Pastor Sharon asked everybody to introduce themselves. I was amazed to see the diversity of the area in one room, but also to realize that how this diversity is not reflected in the media, at the city hall or at the school board.

I hate to acknowledge it, but this is the first time that I realized the struggle of African-American families in my own neighborhood. Though what happened to Brennan was tragic and could have been fatal, this could have happened to anyone of their sons.

An African-American man, Fitz (54 yrs old) told about his childhood and how he feels like nothing has really changed. The struggle for dignity and respect continues. He was hopeful that things will be better.

Khary Mason, whose son recently went through a traumatic experience of being called the n-word and the family did not receive support from his school, spoke powerfully about the need for our community to come together and raise our voices.

Michelle, who was sitting at my table, talked about her son being harassed in his own neighborhood while he was trying to collect donations for Adams High Schools’ Robotics. A neighbor called police as her son was going to door to door, suspecting “trouble”.

Regina told about how she does not allow her sons bike beyond certain perimeter in her neighborhood to keep them safe.

On the topic of Brennan’s father serving in US military, one woman attorney strongly reminded everyone that a family does not have to be perfect to receive justice. Why it is expected of African-Americans to have perfect background to receive equality under the law? This reminded me of a powerful quote for Ta-Nehisi Coates book, “Between the World and me”: All my life I’d heard people tell their black boys and black girls to “be twice as good,” which is to say “accept half as much.”

Many families talk about how they are afraid to send their young African-American kids walking to and from school. Why are these kids who go to the same school as other kids are treated differently and are seen as threat?

Deyar talked about being discriminated for being a Muslim and how Swedish exchange students they had sponsored were taken away from them.

Sarah, an educator in urban schools, choked up as she said she did not want to lose any more students.

I told the audience I was there to listen and learn. I wish, my son was there with me to listen to some of these heart-wrenching stories and to understand the struggle some go through in one of the best places to live in the 21st century America.

Many white families spoke about their support for their African-American neighbors and how terrible they feel and their plans to raise their voices at the city council and their places of worship. A white lady said white people need to come forward and confront this ugly reality present in Rochester Hills, supposedly one of the top 10 places to live in the United States. She also asked everybody to take the orange ribbons (a symbol of anti-gun violence movement) she had brought, to put it on their mailbox, suggesting “Come to My House” and don’t be afraid of being shot.

Jenny McCardell, member of city council in Rochester Hills spoke about need to get involved in politics and run for offices. She is pushing and will continue to push to hold the mayor to his commitment to the "Mayors' Compact to Combat Hate, Extremism and Bigotry" that he signed and to make inclusion and diversity into reality. She advised that everybody write (or email) to their councilperson about this incident and demand that the city administration address these issues.

Stephanie from The Northern Oakland County Branch of the NAACP informed everyone that while some may think we live in a suburban utopia, this branch of the NAACP receives calls on weekly about crosses burning on yards and discrimination against people of color. She plans to stay engaged in this case and raise awareness.

Rev. Greg Larson from United Church of Christ church spoke about the need to create a welcoming community and his church is welcoming of everybody. He and pastor Sharon will be part of an inter-faith meeting to be held on April 19th to address this issue and issue a joint statement with other faith leaders.

Last, but not least, Tiffany, owner of small business in downtown Rochester, who was a driving force behind this urgent meeting, spoke powerfully about her own experiences. She spoke about how she was arrested on her own porch by the police for ‘suspicion’ and was stopped while opening the door to  her own business by someone who told her she wasn’t allowed in. She also spoke of her struggles to balance when to complain and when to ignore issues, so as not to be called a troublemaker.

Tiffany did a great job in continuing the conversation and writing suggestions for next steps. Because of my prior commitment, I had to leave before the meeting ended.

GRAIN encourages everybody to attend the April 23rd City Council meeting. Also, don’t forget to call/email to your city council and mayor. I also suggest that next time if you come across any act of discrimination you contact NAACP or/and MRDI (Michigan Roundtable for Diversity and Inclusion).